UNLOCK YOUR HIP FLEXORS

Monday, February 27, 2006

Self Help

"A survey by the Pew Research Center shows that conservatives are happier than liberals in all income groups. While 34 percent of all Americans call themselves 'very happy,' only 28 percent of liberal Democrats (and 31 percent of moderate or conservative Democrats) do, compared with 47 percent of conservative Republicans.

This finding is niftily self-reinforcing: It depresses liberals.

Election results do not explain this happiness gap... Liberals have made this the era of surly automobile bumpers, millions of them, still defiantly adorned with Kerry-Edwards and even Gore-Lieberman bumper stickers, faded and frayed like flags preserved as relics of failed crusades. To preserve these mementos of dashed dreams, many liberals may be forgoing the pleasures of buying new cars another delight sacrificed on the altar of liberalism. But, then, conscientious liberals cannot enjoy automobiles because there is global warming to worry about, and the perils of corporate-driven consumerism, which is the handmaiden of bourgeoisie materialism... And then there is was all that rustic beauty paved over for highways... And automobiles discourage the egalitarian enjoyment of mass transit. And automobiles, by facilitating suburban sprawl, deny sprawl's victims that word must make an appearance in liberal laments; and lament is what liberals do the uplifting communitarian experience of high-density living. And automobiles...

You see? Liberalism is a complicated and exacting, not to say grim and scolding, creed. And not one conducive to happiness." George Will

"The Patriot Post (PatriotPost.US)"

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Look at yourself, just look at yourself.

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?

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Saturday, February 25, 2006

Check your premises (hint: line 5)

I received this from a friend today:

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this! *****************************************************************

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. "

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit." *****************************************************************

QUIZ: What country, in the 20th Century, tried this...and failed?


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Friday, February 24, 2006

Travel Tip

You may want to think twice about going to Marion County, FLA...

In Belleview, Florida it was reported on 2/23/06 that a man allegedly killed his neighbor for slamming her door and annoying him.

http://www.wftv.com/news/7359552/detail.html

Prior to this, again in Marion County, it was reported on 2/20/06 that another man allegedly beat his rommate to death with a sledehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home.

http://www.wftv.com/news/7257646/detail.html

(There are pictures of both men...worth a thousand words.)

What the heck is going on there?

Is there something in the water?

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

RECIPE

"Hrumphhhh!" he growled.

"This isn't supposed to work; you're not supposed to put BBQ sauce on fish!"

"It's not supposed to taste good," he complained as he moved forkful after forkful in ever-faster arcs into his mouth.

I just wanted to use up a couple of packages of BBQ sauce from the Von's Deli where I got a sinfully fattening sandwich the other day. Put one of 'em all over the salmon around 5 minutes before it was finished broiling (and I did choose to put the rack lower and father away from the heat than I usually do so it took longer since it was still slightly frozen and a pretty thick slice).

And, to harmonize the flavors, I heated up a round 7.5 oz microwavable "cup" of Bush's Baked Beans (only takes 45 seconds).

To the culinary infidels in this world, one of whom I live with, you just don't do certain things with food, period (this is because THEY never heard of these things, so therefore they are not allowed and couldn't possibly taste good :)

Like: fish should NEVER be in a taco! Mexican food shouldn't have fish!

Like: have you ever heard of Veracruz?

Saturday, February 18, 2006

It's Tax Time!

In the time it takes you to walk down to the local tax preparers office (or the store to get boxed software, or the bookstore to get the tax prep book etc.) you could have your taxes completed and filed online at TaxBrain.

TaxBrain is safe, secure, and guaranteed accurate.

You get live U.S.-based telephone and chat help, one of the oldest authorized IRS efile providers, and it's one of the original online tax preparers (with "IRS audit protection" and printed bound copies available).

Besides, TaxMama likes 'em :) (She's a cool tax accountant in Southern California and she sends out a newsletter I've gotten for several years).

TaxBrain

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Pole by any other name....

A Polish immigrant goes to the Massachusetts Department of Motor Vehicles in Salem to apply for a driver's license and is told he has to take an eye test.

The examiner shows him a card with the letters:

C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" the examiner asks.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know the guy!"

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A Batty Idea

Have you heard?

In "Holy Terror, Batman!” our hero will kick al-Qaeda's you-know-what! Frank Miller makes Osama bin Laden the target this time, after Gotham gets attacked.

Well, I'm here to tell you that yours truly came up with this idea way back in 9/11 (only using REAL bats!).

Yes, I went on the CIA's website and submitted my 'batty' idea which, when you analyze it, isn't all that bad.

Simply tag a scaggle of bats electronically, ship them off to Tora Bora (or wherever) and release them. Guess where they'll rush off to (naturally)--all those hidden caves that no one can find!

Voila! Bat Detectives to the rescue.

My husband is sure that all the "cubes" had a good laugh that day (but I was really sincere).

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cartoon postscript

On February 7th, The New York Times announced: "(We) and much of the rest of the nation's media have reported on the cartoons but refrained from showing them."

How sensitive!

On February 8th, The New York Times ran a picture of a so-called piece of art which covers the Holy Virgin Mary in real Elephant feces (along with an article entitled "A Startling New Lesson in the Power of Imagery").

You may smell dung, but I smell hypocrisy.

And for those of you who absolutely adore Big Government, you'll be thrilled to know that your tax dollars (and everyone else's) have previously funded such lovely works of art as a photograph of the crucified Christ submerged in real urine...

In a country where around 84 percent of it's people are of the Christian faith, you just have to wonder about the motives behind the actions.

Valentines Day Prayer

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

Monday, February 13, 2006

Protect your eyes!

I started using The Natural Vision Improvement Kit and it really helps--you can feel it right away. This can save us all from what we do when we stare at the screen too long but it can also reduce your dependency on and . No fly-by-nighter, Meir Schneider's been around for years (I first read about him in the '80's) and went from using Braille to driving without glasses. NOT an absolute cure-all for all situations, but then, what is? If it helps you, then so much the better!

PS: You DON'T have to quit using your !

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Full Moon

This full moon.

This full moon is full of passion and comprehension and hope. This full moon is asking us to look up. This full moon is sweeping its graceful white light over us, arching through the sky with love and compassion and communion.

This full moon feels our aching, our deepest wonderings, our fragility, our reaching, our loneliness, our prayers, our dignity, our grace, our nobility, our aspiration.

This full moon wants us to be happy, to know everything's going to be all right. This full moon is lighting the sky with a new pattern of clarity. It is connecting the dots of the stars into beautiful constellations of meaning and purpose.

No matter where you are in your life right now, don't forget what is true.

Love is at the heart of everything.

blessings on the full moon,
Diana Lang
THE WEATHER
©2006 by DIANA LANG

Saturday, February 11, 2006

7 days of creation

If you believe that the Bible teaches spiritual truths that you want to hear and someone tries to make you feel like an ignorant rube because THEY don't want to hear them, this comes in handy during those inevitable discussions about the "7 days" of creation and the 'billions and billions' of years the earth and solar system have existed:

The "Days" Of Creation - Literal or Figurative?

If you can find a more eloquent and sincere statement, I'd love to hear about it (speaking figuratively, of course :)

Friday, February 10, 2006

RECIPE

Just a quickie...

If you've made a pot roast or roast beef or whatever and you are sick of heating up some slices (too dry!) then this is great:

Buy the Zatarain's pouch of ready-to-eat "Red Beans & Rice".

Chop some beef into smallish cubes (1/4" or so) and heat in a little of your favorite oil. Stir in rice and finish heating according to package directions.

This is good, easy, cheap and fast (just how we like 'em these days :)

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Infamous Cartoons

Heads Up!

Just a little reality check...

Here is what is causing all the riots around the world this weekend:

The Infamous Cartoons

These cartoonists have gone into hiding, there have been death threats, embassies have been torched, massive rioting and burning is going on in streets around the world...

My old friend Tony (whom I miss terribly) always liked to remind me that I should appreciate what I have now because I may not always have it.

In the same spirit I would like to say that we need to start appreciating our country and our freedoms and respecting our elected officials. If you want to learn more about why our educational system started teaching children to hate this country, a form of brainwashing, find out about the Venona Project (1943-1980) that was only declassified and published in 1995 which was when I first stumbled upon it while browsing the NSA website.

Check out a book that's highly--and passionately--recommended by a former soldier who's 79 now and left the U.S. Army in 1945 (scroll down this page):

WWII Vet on The Venona Project

Like Tony said, we should appreciate what we have.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Movie Alert!

Last night we watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It's one of the best films I've seen in a long time! Rather than risk trying to describe it (and maybe do it wrong), here's a link to the trailer:

click here

...and to the Sony poster page where you can click to hear the exorcism itself:

click hear

During the most intense part of the exorcism, a lot of the cats in the house (in the movie) suddenly show up. Just then, one of my cats tore into the room where we were watching, ran around the couch and then tore upstairs...you have to see this movie and not just because it's scary (it is!) but because it's true and a story that needs to be told.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

This is my first post, and I started this mainly because I wanted to post on a friend's blog and couldn't without registering here.

Maybe that's how they trick us all into starting these things!

Some of my friends are sick of my emails--do you think they'll come to my blog? Ha!

So, into the ether I go.