Sunday, June 18, 2006

Do you know what every father wants this Father's Day?

"If you are a dad, like me, you'll feel that your kids are one of the most important factors of your life. One of a father's greatest joys is to hear the words from your son or daughter, "I love you Dad." These are special moments that you keep and cultivate forever.

However, if you've gone through divorce, you will know the anger, grief and Loss that comes from the experience. You might not even get to see your kids as often as you like, or at all. And your friends don't know how to treat you, nor your former partner.

Moreso, loneliness is a thunder that depletes your inner core. As a result of many years of life without friends, you may feel unloved, and sometimes even desperate for a friend. Even worse, how do we go about making friends, once again?

When we were kids, we didn't need to worry about life and relationships. These things "just happened" along the way to adulthood.

Finally, we arrived at an age where we are recognised as being an "adult". That is, we were legally allowed to drink, drive, marry, vote. We were expected to pay our bills and keep our morals high.

However for many fathers, and men, this reality becomes too much to handle. Every day is a crisis. Work is a bore. Your family situation is a complete mess. You desperately want it all to end - but you know you can't get off the treadmill.

Your finances to keep your family alive are tied to your job. And so is your sense of satisfaction - though that also has disappeared. Which leaves you feeling trapped and emotionally void.

This can produce angry arguments that flare up at home. And just one situation can blow your credibility with family and neighbours.

Next thing you may have police turn up on your doorstep and question you. You may spend hours down the station answering their belittling questions. Being fingerprinted and photographed with your records on file. "I'm not even a bad person!" you moan.

Now let me come back to my first question:

"Do you know what every father wants this father's day?"

For most men, they want:
- to be told that they are loved
- to know that they are appreciated
- to be forgiven
- to be given the right to start over, once again
- to know that the past can be forgotten
- to feel the warmth of a loving partner
- to know ... that it is all worth it

If you want to do one thing for your dad this weekend, then prepare yourself and do this:
- give your dad a phone call
- talk about what has hurt him most
- listen to his story, just listen
- tell him how much that meant to you to hear his story
- tell him you forgive him
- tell him you want to start a new chapter
- tell him that you believe it will work
- thank him for being there for you all your life

This is the process of change that can dramatically impact your dad's life. Your relationship with him can start afresh.

It is not enough to struggle through life and hold on to our hurts, our grief and our pain. We need to deal with the issues that we picked up early in life. Get our lives back in control again.

This is a free-ing experience.

We become free to love, to laugh, to smile, to forgive. The past is forgotten, and the future isn't written yet. "The future is what you make it." (Doc, Back to the Future III)

If you have lost your dad, then you can still take action. Sometimes a person who has died can rule our lives even more than when they were alive.

Do you think that your dad is still controlling your life from the grave?

Then forgive him.

Put away the past. Move on. Create a new tomorrow.

It is time to start a new chapter. Keep your dad in mind this fathers day.

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Copyright (c) 2006 Bradley Smith www.easterjvgiveaway.com
You may freely reproduce this article though you must keep the resource box with it.
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