Monday, October 15, 2018

An American snowy winter: The ‘new normal”

8:00 - I made a snowman.


8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.


8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.


8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.


8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snow men instead.


8:22 - The transgender man.|.woman.|.person.| asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.


8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as carrot veggies are food and are not to decorate snow figures with.


8:28 - I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.


8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.


8:40 - The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.


8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.


8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.


8:45 - TV news crew from ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.


9:00 - I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.


9:10 - I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.


9:29 - Far-left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.


Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just a view of the world in which we live today...and it's only getting worse!!



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