Very clever signs

Sign in a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

Over a Gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix." 

On a Septic Tank truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels 

At an Optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." 

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed." 

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." 

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts." 

In a Non-smoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." 

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push." 

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." 

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." 

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" 

At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." 

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up." 

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait." 

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills." 

At a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak." 

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"