This Gardenia stinks

I'd always heard about the GARDENIA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE--one of those supposedly chic New York-style supper clubs with intimate cabaret entertainers. So I was looking forward to going last night on the request of a friend who was supporting a friend's appearance there.

Our friend said that everyone was meeting there at 7:30 pm (a tad early I had thought) and then my husband and I got there ahead of time. Boy, was that lucky because there is NOT much street parking available, at least not very close to this joint. As we were driving around the block, we saw some people with blankets lying around on the sidewalk and I had visions of getting mugged after the show.

Turns out, it was some rap-type musicians (or friends of theirs) camping out in front of the famous Record Plant. Funny, when I recorded there years ago (next door to an Eagles session) people hung out in the Jacuzzi!

Walking in, it was smaller and "boxier" than I had imagined--kind of an odd, squashed L-shape room. The air seemed dead, too--not that great in our 100 degree plus heat wave.

I was so hungry that I didn't really want to have a drink on an empty stomach...was there, by any chance, some peanuts or something from the bar? Not a chance, but we did get some bread and butter.

As the room started to fill up a bit, I noticed that I was starting to sweat which is something I don't really do a lot of. Using the small paper menu as a fan, I asked the only waitress there (who was also doubling, so far, as the bartender) to please turn up the air conditioning.

Nope, not possible, she said. It was on an automatic and unadjustable program. Our friend, who once came to our house and threatened to leave if we didn't crank up the air-conditioning when we weren't even hot, started to look like he was going to pass out. He asked if please, could something be done. Nope, it's on an automatic and unadjustable program.

I again asked if I could call the owner who, the waitress said, had already gone home when I first asked around 7:45 pm--presumably to a nicely air-conditioned retreat. (I used to play in clubs and the owners never went home before 7:30 pm on a Saturday night--NEVER!!!).

Gradually people started fanning themselves all over the tiny room and I started hearing some grumbling, pleading, and confusion as to why we were paying all this money to sit in a steam bath. In fact, since most people were friends of the singer, people said that they would have normally walked out if it weren't for her.

Finally, somebody said the waitress had called the owner at home and, finding out that another singer he knew was sitting in the audience, started an argument with her and her husband that we could all hear--they were so insulted that they almost walked out.

The air conditioning worked a little bit, so we sweated through our dinner, drinks, and show, fans fanning throughout. Thinking that we'd like to feel that the owner, comfortably at home in his air conditioned house, might be somewhat concerned about all these people sitting in his club sweating (the elderly pianist, loosening his shirt and tie, had gotten a personal fan from someone concerned about his health) my friend asked for a "comp" on a drink or something: Nope, can't be done--sorry.

The food was OK, not great. One person in our party sent his pasta back and got something else and a few other people complained that their martinis were watery.

I have a feeling that most of the people who show up at this place know (or really want to know) the entertainers personally and the location was probably nicer a long time ago. Maybe the club owner was too.

GARDENIA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE
An intimate New York-style supper club that has hosted cabaret performances for over 20 years: Tom Rolla, Proprieter
Address: 7066 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90038
Phone: (323) 467-7444
Directions: On the corner of Santa Monica Blvd. and La Brea Ave. Street parking.
Costs: Variable cover charge and 2-drink minimum. Minimum waived with dinner reservations.
Food: Dinner served from 7 p.m. Full bar - Showtime: 9 pm.