lgstarr: Neville Chamberlain

By Neville Chamberlain for the Neville Awards
Posted February 2, 2009

Neville Chamberlain
123 Socialist Utopia Ln.
Workers Paradise, CA 99999

Dear Mr. President:

As you have recently taken office I understand that you still have a number of positions available in your Cabinet.

I would like to be considered as a candidate for one of the remaining positions. I hope that being an old white male is not a disqualification or a disadvantage in these times (please don't tell Robert Reich that I wrote to you).

Here are my qualifications:

I am an Ivy League educated lawyer (aren't we all?)
My specialty is tax law and international relations.
For the last 6 years I have failed to pay, forgot to pay, and/or ignored paying my full share of federal income taxes and social security payments.
I accepted, for 3 years, a limousine service provided by one of my clients that drove me to and from my office. I did not realize or care that free services are considered income.
I helped broker and/or ran four pay-to-play operations for the Democratic machines in Chicago (I think some of your staff may know the individuals involved)and in Los Angeles.
I secured sweetheart mortgage deals for myself and prominent members of the House and Senate Finance committees.
I also hired a nanny from Guatemala to look after my children but failed to include her unemployment taxes in my returns for the last 10 years.

It really doesn't matter which cabinet position I am considered for because I know that, within a year, some of your current Cabinet officers will have resigned/been indicted/shuffled to other cabinet positions. I am sure that each cabinet position is exciting and has it's own unique "opportunities" and interesting challenges.

I also have extensive experience in meeting with dictators and despots without pre-conditions. Perhaps when Hillary self-destructs I could be considered for Secretary of State.

I am sincerely sorry about these minor oversights and I know that you and the Senate Democrats will make endless excuses for me and say I am the only one who can this job...whichever one I am nominated for.

I intend to file amended tax returns as soon as I am aware that the vetting process has begun. By the way, can you use your influence with Treasury Sec. Geithner so I can avoid paying those annoying penalties? Thanks bro'.

Please know that I can do a great job for you now that being a tax scofflaw is the road to upward mobility in public service.

Kind regards,

Neville…former Prime Minister for the United Kingdom

The Democratic voters have fallen into the trap. Their acceptance of the great Islamic lie has paved the way for the great liberal charade; we are to blame for all that ails the world.

"The American Israeli Patriot: The Democrats: Neville Chamberlain Incarnate"

On September 30, 1938 Neville Chamberlain stepped off a plane waving a scrap of paper signed by Adolf Hitler. In front of a cheering crowd at 10 Downing Street in London he proclaimed the following:

"My good friends this is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace in our time."

On September 1, 1939 Hitler invaded Poland, England declared war on Germany, and the rest is history. Chamberlains' place in history is secure as the "Godfather of Appeasement".

We at the Neville Awards believe history is repeating itself.

The Neville Awards