NEWZ OF THE DAY

In democracy your vote counts whereas in feudalism, your count votes.


He was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg but they broke it off.


With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.


When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


A person is stuck with their debt if they can't budge it.


The Local Area Network in Australia is the LAN down under.


He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


She had a photographic memory that was never developed.


Bakeries trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.


The man that fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.


And,


Acupuncture is a jab well done.