What did a caterpillar do on New Year's Day? – It turns over a new leaf.
What’s once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years? - The letter M!
Did you hear about the three million dollar Redneck Lottery? - The winner gets three dollars a year for a million years.
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve? - Auld Fang Syne!
Why did the man refuse to eat snails? - He only ate fast food.
Why do dragons sleep during the day? - So they can fight knights.
Why was the queen's room flooded? - Because she reigned for many years!
And,
What does the dentist of the year get? - A little plaque.
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